Friend Zoned? Don’t Worry, I’ll Teach You How To Beat It

I have escaped the friend zone so many times already and believe me, it wasn’t easy. I’ve done everything, from the simplest to the most radical way.
posted on: Saturday, June 21, 2014

First of all, I would like to explain that the friend zone is like a black hole that sucks everything – even the light of hope cannot escape from it.

Having said that, regardless of how good you are you’ll still get dragged into the zone but there are tendencies when you could escape from its clutches.

I’ll tell you this, YOU CAN DO IT!

I’m going to tell you how, though this guide is entirely based on my experience and not guaranteed to work for you, but this will give you an idea of what to do in times of dire need.

1. First step is ask yourself, “Why am I here in the first place?”

This is the most important step of all.

HBO via Tumblr

Were you too proud of yourself? Were you a coward?

And for girls in the friend zone, to do the first move is NEVER wrong. The tradition that only the guys should express their feeling is goddamn sexist.

2. Don’t you pretend to be someone else.

Diversity is within our DNA so no one is the same, but nowadays I’m forced to believe that those in the friend zone are all the same.


Don’t pretend. All you have to do is to be yourself.

Don’t pretend you’re cute like an anime cosplayer, or that you’re energetic and funny, or smart and witty. Because at the end of the day, no matter who you are, no one, even your crush, really cares!

If your crush still doesn’t like you, then let her go. At least you’ve left the friend zone.

3. Know yourself more.

The problem with people nowadays is that they know more about their favorite Korean TV star than themselves.

You should realize whether you’re straight or gay. If you’re a fanboy of One Direction or Lady Gaga, or likes to put heavier makeup than your crush, then it’s obvious why you’re in the friend zone.

Yeah, you need to grow some balls, Robin.

4. You don’t necessarily need looks, although first impression is always an advantage.

In getting a “yes” from a lady or from a cowardly guy (if you’re a girl), well, all you need is:

1% looks (wear decent clothes)

1% money (you must afford a taxi)

98% Balls of Steel (even if you’re a woman, you need the balls)

That’s all you need so stop being a coward. Cowardice is just a fancy term for being lazy, or it’s the other way around. Either way it’s bad.

5. You don’t have to follow what’s trending.

If you’re against the trend then that’s fine.

As a matter of fact, that makes you interesting. Just don’t disrespect the trend regardless of how stupid it is. Being unique and honest about yourself is the best way to get appreciation and interest from anyone without having to look pathetic or a try-hard.

6. No confidence? Simple remedy is Beer or Wine but not WHINE!

Drink just to the point when you’ll feel a little tipsy. Soon enough the awkward part of being shy will eventually disappear. However, it’s natural to feel shyness, you don’t have to hide it, use it to your advantage.

Tumblr | Nintendo

Showing that you’re shy to someone means that you look up to them and went out of your comfort zone just for them. Advantage, right?

Always works for me though oftentimes I’m just pretending to be drunk to get what I want.

7. Be nice to everyone not just on your crush.

Let others talk and show respect and interest.


Being nice to everyone and yourself will greatly improve your personality not just socially but physically as well (this is poor man’s plastic surgery).

It will improve your reputation and when your crush hears about it, it’s additional pogi points.

8. Be strong and handy.

Just because I said strong and handy doesn’t mean you have to learn all known martial arts, go to a bar, then pick a fight and impress ladies.

What I mean about being strong is not letting anyone disrespect you and your significant other, be handy and don’t get caught unprepared, and always be her crying shoulder when she needs it.

9. Seeing you as a friend means respect.

If despite your efforts she still sees you as a friend, it just means that she respects you and possibly she’s still confused about her feelings.

That’s fine, perseverance and patience are very rewarding.

Don’t listen to anyone who tells you to make your crush jealous by having another party. No, oh God I would love to punch the guy who made that advice. It never works!

When the time comes when she already trusts you a lot, she would soon realize that she needs you. Be there all the time and inevitably she’ll eventually give you a hint. Once you get the hint and make the move, perseverance and patience will grant you your just reward.

10. And lastly, go and speak your heart out.

There’s nothing wrong with it, be you a girl or a boy, lesbian or gay, it doesn’t matter, go and talk. How would they know if you’re not going to tell them?

You don’t have to give them flowers, just simply tell them.

Back then I would drink a lot and ask her out, because in wine there is truth.

And she knows that I’m telling the truth, and in most cases it works.

That’s true.

Escaping the friend zone is not really that hard but not easy as well. It’s the internet’s fault for making it sound so hard. Lazy bastards, know your cards, play them well and you’ll win.

Seriously how hard can it be? It’s really easy that even a chimp can do it. Otherwise chimps would’ve been extinct by now.