How to easily spot a bogus jeepney passenger who did not pay the fare

Warning: don’t do these yourself!
posted on: Saturday, December 21, 2013
Kevin Maglinte
My Good Man, this heathen calls himself "Magz" as if his own name wasn't good enough. He claims to own these titles "Web Developer Baller" and a "Social Media Ho". It appears that this ruffian has also a talent in digital art.
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Hey kids! Today, I’ll teach you about “pamukong”. Please take note that I don’t encourage these techniques because jeepney drivers are doing honest living and it is our responsibility to pay them! Just imagine the Philippines without jeepneys or PUJ! It would be horrible, right? Enough with the chitchat and let’s get down to learning the art of spotting a bogus jeepney passenger who did not pay the jeepney fare. Who knows, you could be one of them!

1.  The “Gukod lang nong” (catch me!) technique

This is a straight forward technique. It’s all about good positioning. Passengers who do this sit close to the exit of the jeepney and when the traffic signal is up, they see it as a chance to bail and run as fast as they can! They make sure first, thought, that there is no conductor present.

2. The “monkey in the middle!” technique

When a passenger from one end of the vehicle sends his or her fare, the person in the middle of the jeepney thinks, “It’s time to be a monkey!” and make it look like that he or she owns that fare. It takes practice to look that you really own that fare.

3. The “shadow slip” technique

Now you can’t see me

This one needs “ninja moves”. The main thing about this is to not get any attention. The passenger who do this are usually found at the edge of the seats, close to the exits. When he arrives at his stop, he simply walks away and blends in with the crowd like a freaking shadow!

4. The “fake coin trick” technique

This one compels a passenger to be in a good position and this won’t work if there are “conductors” around. The passenger is as far as possible to the driver and when he arrives at the destination, he gives any amount of money. The driver thinks that he paid already but when the fare arrives at his palm, it is all over for him since the passenger is away from him already.

5. The “Keep your friends close, but your jeepney drivers closer!” technique

Jeepney drivers are naturally friendly. If you engage first in a conversation, you will be surprised they will share their life experiences, family life, and tips. Clever passengers who want a free ride do this conversation or escape after receiving a fare from the passengers sitting at the back and do the monkey business!

6. The “conductor effect”

Passengers who do this need two things! One is to look like a “conductor”. Two is to make sure he has the balls to back it up–calling out passengers and other things conductors usually do! Hey, if you yourself do this (which again, I discourage you!), you might want to consider shifting career to a full time conductor.

7.  The “hanging-by-the-pole-and-surviving-the-experience” technique

What freeloaders do is just hang on the pole at the exit of the jeepney until they arrive!

8. The “I got a lot of money I don’t have to pay a jeep” technique

Passengers who do this don’t pay the driver until you haven’t arrive to your destination. When they are almost there, they pay him with a very large bill. Chances are  the driver won’t accept it because he can’t give change! So in the end, they get a free ride!

9. The ” Sorry, wrong  jeep!” technique

Just add serious face to make sure it will work

Passengers who do this  ride the jeep in a pretty casual way. When they are about to go down, they tell the driver that this is the wrong jeep. Jeepney drivers are kind and they usually grant them a free ride. They don’t even have to pay a single penny!

10. Just be honest, bro!

If you don’t have any money, just tell the driver about the situation. Like I said, jeepney drivers are kind and high chances are, they are willing to give you a free ride.

Are you guilty of doing one or two of these techniques?