Lies That Only Jeepney Konduktors Tell

Sikitsikiti lang palihug!
posted on: Sunday, June 8, 2014

Lifestyle Geek

A typical Cebuano day starts with a hearty breakfast then a commute to school or work.

To get a ride, most people would be pointing their finger to the sky and call the attention of a trusty jeepney driver.


The jeepney stops in front of you then you hop inside.

In case you didn’t know, jeepney is the major mode of transportation for most Filipinos.

The fare is cheap but comfort will never be assured.

Nonetheless, a jeepney ride is an experience one shouldn’t miss.

It’s one of the best way to learn about the Filipinos and their habits when they commute.

Unfortunately, the limelight on this short article would not be on the jeepney or the jeepney driver nor you as a passenger.

This is about the lies that jeepney konduktors tell us.

Flickr account of human_factor

What do I feel?

Actually, saputon ko.

How about you?

So far, these are the lies I have heard from them.


“Sikit-sikiti lang! Naa pay unom ka bakante.”

Flickr account of jude BATANGAS CREW

Six my bottoms! Even a single ant couldn’t fit anymore!

Bisdak University


“Ali day! Luag pa.”

Luag? Pag-chure oi! Halos one fourth naman gani sa lobot sa ubang pasajero ang nakalingkod sa lingkuranan tapos moingon ka nga luag?

Bisdak University



“Naa pay usa!”

Yep! You were quite in a hurry. You made “para” a jeep and the konduktor told you there’s still room for one so you hopped on. To your horror, there isn’t a seat available. You end up sitting in the middle of the jeepney or mosabak (if somebody is going to volunteer) or go out of the jeep in dismay, while telling the konduktor you’re pissed off. Kung makatawag og mga pasahero ang mga konduktor, wagas!


I saved the best for last!


“Luzon, Visayas, Mindanao, Cambodia!”

Wow! I want to ride this. No need for passport or visa. Just ride the jeepney and it’ll take you to Cambodia.

I heard this when I was near Anita’s Bakeshop in Osmena Boulevard.

Seriously? I will really hop on this jeepney if it will take me directly to Cambodia. LOL!


How about you? What lies have you heard from our konduktors?

Hit the comment section below and start a conversation.