I would like to cherish all the remaining wonders of Philippine drama but then I remembered there was none.
I am completely baffled why TV writers keep on recycling the same garbage story over and over again.
TV networks keep on hiring untalented writers and don’t want to change the formula because they think the viewers are shallow so they enjoy their recycled crap.
Then everyone would tell me, “Di, ayaw’g tan-aw!”. What worth is my TV if what I watch is full of crap?
Philippine soap operas started in 1960s and still the quality of the stories didn’t improve a single morsel.
Heck, I’d like to bet my worn out Nike shoes that dramas from the past generation are way more original than the trash we have today.
(All pictures belong to their respective TV networks)
A character, mostly the protagonist, meets a fatal accident and miraculously survives but… wait for it… gets amnesia!
A very cheap way to extend the plot of an already boring story.
You know, they should just kill off the character to give way to a whole new story. Oh di ba, I made a new story! GMA/ABS-CBN, hire me!
When all goes well for our bida, the villain suddenly loses their mind and somehow procures a gun from a drawer.
They completely forgot about knowing a hitman or already fired him for botching his last mission to kill the protagonist.
How dumb can you be if you have the money to hire a hitman but refuse to let him do his job?
Pinoy drama villains are just as stupid as the one who writes this shitty story.
Rich people in dramas don’t just own a big house and expensive car; they own a company, a mansion, your mother, the squatters in Manila Bay and can even buy you, your friends and this club!
There’s always this scene when they’re having a corporate meeting and throwing business jargon (#nosebleed) that we have no idea about.
I suppose the writer is the CEO of some company and I advise him to quit writing and focus on building his company because his dramas are completely a waste of time to watch.
The villain hires an army of bungling goons complete with black jacket and high-caliber guns (where the hell did they recruit these tambays?).
Then they easily kidnap the protagonist and hide them… where else, in a warehouse!
Spoiler: the protagonist manages to untie the rope and escape, causing the goons to be fired from their job.
I’ll go straight to the point – why don’t they just hire an ugly but talented star rather than a pretty one then waste time darkening her skin, thickening her eyebrows then calling her ugly?
That’s where the cliché goes – the “ugly” protagonist becomes “beautiful” through some Madam Auring shenanigans.
We really have a twisted notion of what’s ugly. Dark skin ≠ ugly. That’s our natural skin color for crying out loud.
As long as the protagonist worked their way up to the ladder of success, I’m completely fine by it.
But just look at our TV dramas, their wealth is always a windfall!
That is, they always inherit it from their real parents or some kind strangers they met.
It turns out our protagonist is the long lost child of a very wealthy family (Wow, I’m surprised)!
The suddenly rich cliché can’t be done without the missing child cliché (one variation is the switching babies cliché) because the drama world is a small world.
It’s easy for a missing child to meet his/her real rich parents.
Let’s show the protagonists’ childhood life and how they got their favorite toy.
Then they grow into the adult star who don’t even look like their young counterparts.
Seriously, this has been done so many times that my car no longer accepts diesel.
Besides, those child stars you’ve hired are simply without talent.
Cut the crap and go straight to the core of the story. We don’t need to see the English-speaking Filipino kids struggling to deliver a single Tagalog line.
A previous article talks about this particular plague.
How wicked can you be to leave Carla Abellana’s dimples for Dennis Trillo’s dingledong?
Or why the heck did you marry Angel Locsin if you prefer Maja Salvador’s makalaglag-brief na alindog?
This cliché teaches immoral behavior but runs rampant on our nightly watch.
Just look at these degenerate Pinoys who enjoy this kind of story.
They should go to church and wash their ugly faces with melted candle.
Ambisyosang bida! Falling in love with a rich guy who already has a girlfriend.
Let’s add the typical matapobre parents trying to take their son away from the poor girl as if she has an extreme case of balakubak.
Then we always hear the word ‘magtatanan‘ – the forbidden lovers elope and try to live on the rich parent’s credit card.
Mga bagag peys! Why do you writers always have to portray us rich people as matapobres?
Wala ba diay matadatu? I should get my grass shears and castrate these writers for their narrow-mindedness.
It’s the cancerous conclusion of every Pinoy drama and if I had a peso for every wedding I’d be richer than Napoles (but still not as rich as Kris Aquino).
If there’s a love triangle, simply kill off the rival and we’ll have a happy ending thank you very much.
I applaud these writers for delivering such a happy wedding (wait till the divorce law is passed).
They should get the reward of exile in a dark pit full of crocodiles.
If writing the same overused story was a crime, I would exhaust all my money and credit cards to put these shameless and disgusting writers to jail. Che! Out na ko!