These 10 Types of Passengers Deserve A High Five On The Face, With A Chair

Public transportation is so fun that I want to buy my own car.
posted on: Tuesday, June 17, 2014
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Digital Agitator

I am infinitely baffled by some people’s kabagag-nawong when riding a public vehicle. It’s as if they are compensating for their lack of brains and money to buy their own car.

They act like they are paying more, when in fact, they’re the type who pay sinsilyo to the Manoy Drayber.

Yes, you may say it’s just a natural part of riding a PUJ in the Philippines but I attribute it to some Pinoys’ utter lack of discipline.

These kinds of passengers deserve to be slapped in the face to put an end to their sickening acts:

Disclaimer: The people in these pictures don’t actually portray the types of people I will be listing.

10. The Shampoo Commercial Model

Yeah, gurl, I know you’re using Hidden Soldiers for your kaspa-infested hair. So please for chrissakes, can you show some decency by TYING YOUR HIDEOUS KULOT HAIR because it keeps on brushing my face? It’s so kulot that it can be used as a brush to paint my house.

9. Sleeping Beauty

Moymoy Palaboy youtube channel

It’s not my problem if you hadn’t had your daily dose of Starbucks before riding the jeepney. If you dare sleep on my shoulder you better be at least a woman (must be at least 18 years old and not more than 25 years old).

This tiny vehicle we are in isn’t your bedroom Sonny, so don’t ever sleep on me or I’ll bring a kettle of boiling water to splash on your face.

8. The Headbanger

Yeng Constantino youtube channel

Yeah, we are all subject to Newton’s first law of motion so don’t beat your head like a drumstick every time the jeepney stops and grip the purposefully designed handrail.

You don’t look like a metalhead who bangs his head while listening to rock, you look like an epileptic who’s having a seizure attack.

7. The Immovable Statue

They are those who don’t move their legs when someone enters. They don’t make way for anyone, and refuse to give space to new passengers.

These people probably suffer from diarrhea that’s why they find it hard to move their flat asses. Check them if they’re sweating profusely though it’s cold. if they are, then they are indeed having a bowel problem. This is the best time to punch them in the stomach.

6. My Bag Is A Passenger Too!

“My bag sir, is not a pig!”

~ Nora Aunor

Nice bag but why are you putting it beside you and not on your legs, did you pay for your bag’s fare as well? If not then I’ve got a bad news for you.

Take that away from the vacant seat or else, or else… I’ll just walk out of the vehicle and Manoy Drayber would earn 8 pesos less, causing his children to suffer from hunger and the konduktor to riot.

5. Party Poopers

A party of passengers who talk loudly as though they’re the only ones inside the jeepney.

They scream louder than the toothless barker it’s a surprise they haven’t blown their eardrums yet.

It becomes more disgusting when they start discussing about their love life and how they lost their virgi… Okay, I’ll stop listening to them now.

4. Mr. Clean Hands

Some just put on their headphones and look outside pretending to not notice the hand extending for the money while some just plainly don’t care.

Facebook | Vin Diesel

It doesn’t matter if you find it annoying or you’re just plain lazy but let me remind your empty head that this is a PUBLIC vehicle. Everyone is obliged to pass the fare. It’s everyone’s duty.

Even if you’re the Queen of England, Barack Obama or Napoles, nobody’s exempted in passing the fare except if you’re Kris Aquino, because she deserves to be well-treated.

3. The Legs Spreader

I mean, no offense to the heavyweights, but people who are fatter than the pork barrel are the most common perpetrators of this crime even if they don’t mean it.

Moymoy Palaboy youtube channel

These passengers think they paid for 5 seats when in fact, they only paid 8 pesos (pending pa ang taas-plitehan), consuming more space than what they’ve paid. They would spread their legs and let the kraken residing behind their legs suck all the positive energy inside the already-melancholic vehicle.

2. Bahog Ilok (I ran out of idea)

Pakupot-kupot pa’s rail, baho baya’g ilok.

Worse, he’s wearing sleeveless shirt and his sweaty armpit vines are healthily dangling like live snakes. He’s more horrifying than an agta and his stench reeks of rotten vinegar (as if vinegar could be more rotten).

Please, if your tawas or deodorant doesn’t work, try using zonrox or malathion to rid your body of that pungent smell that you so willfully spread among your fellow passengers.

1. The Smokaholic

Why don’t you disgusting sub-human get the $%# out of the hood before I grab your ass and throw you out of the jeepney?

People like you who lack self-control are the reason why this country or even this jeep isn’t moving forward!

If you enjoy your cancerous poison then better keep it yourself and not spread the smoke like it’s perfume.

If you don’t respect yourself at least respect us 80 million who don’t want to get lung cancer.

If you’re guilty of these horrendous acts then try to stick this inside your empty head, you’re doing a good service to your fellow countrymen if you just stay away from jeepney. Why don’t you take a taxi or instead?

How I just sometimes wish I would seat at the front beside Manoy Drayber but it’s usually reserved for sexy female passengers.